PDF Ebook The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating, by Kiera Van Gelder
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The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating, by Kiera Van Gelder
PDF Ebook The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating, by Kiera Van Gelder
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From Publishers Weekly
Discovering the enlightenment of Buddhism comes pretty late in this shaky, ultimately triumphant account of coping with an elusive mental disorder. Van Gelder had been plagued by suicidal tendencies, drug addiction, chronic instability, feelings of entrapment, and mood swings since she was a young teen growing up in Concord, Mass.. Although off drugs for more than 10 years and a veteran of therapy and hospitals, Van Gelder was only diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) when she was 30 and seesawing wildly in a relationship. Finally putting a diagnosis to her illness was "like a religious conversion," and she instantly delved into the literature and treatment, including a rigorous multistage process of dialectal behavior therapy, conducted in groups. The first half of this densely detailed memoir chronicles the authorâ„¢s continued yo-yoing into self-destructive behavior and hospitalization; eventually, with intensive BPD treatment zoning in on her six-year-old self molested by a babysitter, she moves through issues of trauma and vulnerability to a desperate need for validation from her parents, divorced early on and in deep denial about her psychic neediness. Studying Tibetan Buddhism confirmed her desire to embrace a nurturing community of compassionate seekers away from hospitals and diagnoses, well documented in this useful work. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Review
"The Buddha and the Borderline is a cross between Girl, Interrupted and Bridget Jones’s Diary.While reading it, I found myself admiring Kiera’s talent for vividly describing borderline hopelessness and pain while keeping me laughing with her tales of life as a ‘lonely and increasingly horny receptionist.’ While this book has something for everyone, Kiera’s detailed account of how she recovered from this deadly disorder will be enormously inspiring to people with borderline personality disorder and their family members." —Randi Kreger, author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook "With wit, clarity, and candor bout her sex life, Kiera chronicles her coping with the pain and emptiness of borderline personality disorder while proving that the road to recovery is usually under construction." —Jim Payne, board member of the National Alliance on Mental Illness "Kiera creates a window into the soul of one coming to grips with severe mental illness. Fully exposed, she shows us the pain, pleasure, and finally, the redemption of the borderlineexperience. Her gripping story sheds new light upon one of the most misunderstood and stigmatized of all human conditions, and for that, I am deeply grateful. Her words will quite possibly be shocking to some, but will validate and comfort those with the disorder and those who are tryingto understand them. Welcome to our world: the pain, shame, and pleasure, and then, finally, the insight and skill-building that leads to healing, love, and happiness. Kiera captures the experience brilliantly." —Tami Green, internationally recognized speaker, life coach and advocate for those in recovery from mental illness "The Buddha and the Borderline is a strikingly candid and comprehensive account of the author’s personal experiences of the effects of borderline personality disorder spanning more than two decades. Van Gelder is a very well informed, engaging, and talented writer. She reveals the multiple and complex symptoms of borderline disorder as manifested in her life with great honesty,revealing the devastating pain with moving and insightful vignettes that are tempered on occasion with a finely tuned sense of humor. This is a must-read for people with this disorder, their families and loved ones, and mental health professionals." —Robert O. Friede, MD, author of Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified "The Buddha and the Borderline is a masterpiece. Kiera shares her road to recovery in a captivating way that brings a unique understanding to a confusing, challenging, and controversial disorder. Having the privilege to personally know Kiera, I applaud her on so many levels, least of all this must-read book. She is an inspiration to all who strive and hope for recovery from borderline personality disorder." —Perry D. Hoffman Ph.D., president of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEA-BPD) "Kiera’s book is destind to become a classic in the growing literature on borderline personality disorder. I expected to get a somber account of a transformation from suffering to enlightenment,but the book I read was not only entirely entertaining and revealing, but also had me up way past my bedtime in stitches. The Buddha and the Borderline is seriously funny, authentic, and sublime in its wisdom. The book embodies the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism and integrates the world of core unrelenting suffering with the world of freedom from suffering. Transcendent stuff." —Blaise Aguirre,MD, medical director of the Adolescent Dialectical Behavior Therapy Residential Program at McLean Hospital in Belmont, MA"The Buddha and the Borderline is a gripping, authentic, and ultimately inspiring portrayal of one woman’s triumph over borderline personality disorder. An intriguing, riveting, and compelling read, the depth and complexity of both character and story are to be savored. Kiera Van Gelder has shared the private depths of her heart and soul and, in doing so, has bestowed upon the reader a great and sacred gift." —Roy Krawitz, author of Borderline Personality Disorder: The Facts"A very educational and insightful look into the inner world of borderline personality disorder and its treatment. Kiera Van Gelder’s witty tone and engaging journey brilliantly chronicles the dialectic of profound suffering and how that suffering can be transformed into a life worth living." —A.J. Mahari, author of Life Coach and Mental Health Coach"Out of a profoundly painful experience, Kiera Van Gelder has written a brave and hopeful book exploring her recovery from borderline personality disorder. Kiera's story will undoubtedly touch countless lives and be a source of inspiration to those who have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, their families, and the mental health professionals who play a crucial role in the complex nexus of education, treatment, and support. The Buddha and the Borderline is a compelling and invaluable narrative for anyone wanting to learn more about the difficult, yet ultimately rewarding, process of recovery." —Amanda L. Smith, Florida Borderline Personality Disorder Association"The Buddha and the Borderline by Kiera Van Gelder is captivating, literary, and insightful. Van Gelder’s use of metaphor enhances the haunting nature of her journey through life. As I read the book, I recognized her pain, and cheered her on. Her insights led me to a better understanding of myself and the nature of borderline personality disorder." —Lisa Dietz, owner of www.DBTSelfHelp.com
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Product details
Paperback: 264 pages
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; Original edition (August 1, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 157224710X
ISBN-13: 978-1572247109
Product Dimensions:
6.2 x 0.8 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
241 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#33,963 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
As one with BPD who has spent the last 8 months in therapy and has completed a 3 month DBT course I can say I actively practice dialectics with this book. I love and hate it. If there is a spectrum of this diagnosis id be on the opposite end of Kiera as my period of self harm was brief and isolated to adolescence, and I've never been hospitalized nor tried to take my own life. However this book became so relatable at times I had to walk away and practice my DBT skills to not be triggered. Other times I felt myself angry and envious of Kiera who always seemed to have her bills paid, a place to live, and whether healthy or not, a consistent boyfriend putting up with all of her issues. The part that was missing most for me in this book, (although it would be impossible to do in hindsight) was the minutia of the dissociation. It makes me want a journal of minute to minute feelings to accurately portray how varied and confusing they are. When I'm in therapy on a day where everything is peachy I have a hard time recalling my most recent (sometimes days or hours before) episode with anything more than apathy because that flight of emotion is gone and I no longer feel in the depths of an emotion mind out. Sometimes I felt her experiences were glossed over. It's one thing to say I laid in bed and cried for hours, it's another to say that minute to minute in those hours my mind went from self loathing, to self pity, to empathy and back ten times over.This book was suggested to me by my therapist and I'm glad I read it. Kiera definitely has made me feel understood and given me a camaraderie I hadn't found prior to this read.
A compelling read for anyone struggling with borderline personality disorder and I would, with much confidence, stretch this recommendation to anyone suffering. Doubtful there isn’t a human being alive that couldn’t relate to the words that pour from the pages of this incredible read, The Buddha and the Borderline. The words are filled with raw emotional honesty from the first page through to the last and it is in this integrity, this unique authenticity that it most resonated with this reader. I was drawn to this author because of the recent Thomas fire in California. I saw some of her posts on social media. I was impressed with the compassion she demonstrated to others, heartfelt kindness in light of the fact her own home burned to the ground. She lost everything: her clothes, her precious artwork, her pages of writing—incomplete books, and her furniture. But what she didn’t lose was her dignity and immense heart. I wanted to know more about her and in doing so came to a gofundme page that told her story and linked me with this book. As I sit here, after having closed the last page, I’m taken with the emotions this near stranger has elicited in me but more significantly the loss for adequate words to express how her outpouring, every bleeding exposure, left me feeling I just don’t have adequate words. The best expression I can give is to highly recommend this book. To all who want to get real with themselves, to all who dare to face their insides, and to all who dare to walk through the fires to know what it is to own your own personality, heart and soul.
My therapist recommended this book to me after diagnosing me as having BPD, and recommending DBT to me. I began reading it before starting DBT therapy, and like the other reviewers, it is comforting in some respects to read someone else's journey. It can be triggering. If cutting is your issue, you may find this book really triggering. It's not mine, but I'm squeamish, and her cutting issues definitely caused me discomfort. I think what I like best about this book is the fact that I view myself as "not in as bad of shape" as the author. It definitely made me feel less panicked about my own issues "Hey, I'm not THAT bad!" I did relate to her issues with her mother. The episode when they went into therapy together was enlightening to me. I think my mother and I are definitely two people who "cope" very differently and don't understand why the other one won't "cope" the way we do. Overall, I recommend it to anyone, but especially to women with a BPD diagnosis and/or are going through DBT.
I began reading this memoir after putting down "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" -- I personally stopped reading it because it felt cold to me and made me feel even worse about being a Borderline. This book was exactly what I needed at the exact time I needed it. I'll refrain from telling my whole Borderline Personality Disorder story here other than this: I'm a 27-year-old wife and mother that lives a seemingly normal life on the outside, but suffers immensely with this disorder. I am just now in the process of finding healing and therapy. The Buddha and the Borderline is what honestly what pushed me to take my mental health into my hands. I listened to the audio of this book and read it as well. Now my husband is reading it to learn more about me. I don't know if you read these reviews, but if you do, thank you, Kiara.
Thoughtful mémoire on what it's like to have BPD. Wish she'd gone more into her relationship with Taylor, all the reasons she decided it wouldn't work out, and whether she now thinks it was for the best since this was the most intimate relationship described in the book, and the only deep one post-recovery. This is admittedly a self-serving wish, as I recently had to end a relationship with a woman I love but can no longer endure without her getting proper treatment. It is a little disappointing that the story ends with her still struggling more than I'd hoped, but it is honest, thorough, and very much appreciated.
There hasnt been anything that i have ever read, experienced or talked about that portrays BPD quite as realistically as this book. Never feel alone guys, Kiera has literally been thru it all like the rest of us. Her journey is fascinating and enlightening even tho she doesnt downplay a single facet of her struggle.Its the most honest personal account- of anything- that i have ever read. More than ever, i felt like i wasnt alone or weird or that i was different. Kiera gave me that, and its a rare things to have- surprisingly in such a connected world.
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